Thursday, June 2, 2022

"IT'S NOT GONNA HURT"

 










(Author’s note: I heard a cute nurse-paramedic love story on Delilah’s syndicated radio show on my way home. So, here’s what I “imagined” the story to be. I wrote this in less than 2 hours, lol.)


 

“It’s not gonna hurt”, that’s what the nurse told me when I came to the ER after an injury on the job. You see, I was a paramedic, and I had a massive crush on the nurse Liza.

 

I don’t know how it happened, but Liza started to matchmake me with her friend Rose. Probably because Rose was also Irish like me. Probably because Liza thought I was too tall for her. She called me “Giant Finn”. She was 5’2” to my 6’, but she could handle the rowdy patients just with her look. 

 

I fell for her as soon as I saw this cute Filipina nurse finagled her way to squeeze her diminutive self among the burly security officers to jab a quick sedative on the arm of an agitated patient. And then, she proceeded to organize the officers to hold the patient while she masterfully restrained the patient to the stretcher.


She was a marvel to watch; a Wonder Woman in a sea of patients clamoring for attention. She was kind, compassionate but tough-as-nails when needed. 

 

As paramedics assigned to this Level 1 trauma hospital, our crew quickly developed a great camaraderie with the ER staff. We worked together on gunshot wounds, stab wounds, accident patients, heart attacks, seizures, and the often-rambunctious intoxicated patients. 


The single males in our crew had our favorite nurses. Liza was well-liked by all, but soon, my comrades noticed that I was sweet on Liza.

 

Liza’s pixie face, pert nose, jet-black hair, those dark-brown almond eyes that were always smiling. She captivated me.

 

For whatever reason, Liza thought I liked her friend Rose. Whenever they were in Triage, she would send my ambulance crew to Rose. It was starting to be awkward since I suspected that Rose liked my partner instead.

 

But I held off from pursuing Liza, mainly because I was tongue-tied in front of her. This giant Finn was intimidated by this tiny dynamo.


Until the day I came in as a patient.

 

When the EMS dispatcher sent my paramedic crew to assist a BLS team with an agitated patient, we grappled with the emotionally-disturbed man who was brandishing a baseball bat. I was able to grab the bat away from the patient but pulled my shoulder in the process. Due to the adrenaline rush, I didn’t even feel the pain until somebody bumped into me. I almost fainted from the pain.

 

Liza was the trauma nurse that day. Her eyes showed concern when she saw my shoulder deformed and how I was groaning in pain. She immediately called the ED attending to order pain medication STAT. Dr. Lim said, “Finn needs his left shoulder reduced. Let’s prepare him for moderate sedation.


My arm was in a sling. But the throbbing pain was almost too hard to endure. Liza tried to distract me with her witty banter. She teased me. “Now you know that you cannot just wrestle with your patients like that. Who do you think you are? Hulk Hogan?”

 

When Liza saw my right arm with the bulging veins, her eyes went round with delight. “Yes, I love bulging veins, especially as all my other patients earlier were difficult sticks.

 

It’s not gonna hurt,” Liza promised before she inserted an 18-gauge needle into my antecubital. But I screamed in pain. She had smooth hands, but I was afraid of needles (even though I love inserting IVs, go figure). I jerked my injured shoulder in anticipation of the pain from the IV angiocath piercing my skin.

 

Liza stayed with me during the shoulder reduction. After giving the analgesic and the sedation medications, she held my hand with her left hand while writing on the moderate sedation sheet with her right.

 

I did not remember much during the procedure, but I felt groggy after. I later learned that the doctor had to administer Narcan to reverse the sedation because it took too long for me to come out of my narcotic high.

 

The x-ray confirmed that my left shoulder went back to its socket. But the ED attending and the resident who assisted with the procedure both gave me teasing looks before they departed the room, with me still holding onto Liza’s hand.


Just before Dr. Lim left the room, he jokingly told Liza, "Don't forget the foley catheter". I am sure I turned red as a lobster, but Liza was furious and embarrassed, which of course resulted in more chuckles from the departing doctors.

 

Liza turned to me and, with a confused look on her face, asked me, “Finn, you just blurted out when you were coming out from sedation that you like me. Is it true?”

 

I grinned sheepishly, “Liza, it was always you.

 



And that was ten years ago. “So, Delilah, can you please play a song for us for our nine-year wedding anniversary?"





 

 

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